Friday, March 30, 2007

Good friends ARE hard to find!

Gerry introduced me to the world that is facebook this week. I signed-up and was surprised to find some of the people I went to high school are also members. High School was a fun time in my life, filled with sports, friends and occasionally even learning. I hung out in a group of 8 guys that I thought were the best friends a person could have, but were they really? When I reminisce about my secondary school experience I tend to focus on the laughter and fun, but my group of "friends" were involved in some things that weren't the least bit funny.

As an adult looking back on my teenage years, I don't know why I befriended these guys in the first place. They were mean spirited, image obsessed, peons that only cared about maintaining their status as "popular", often at the expense of others. But there I was, following along with them, just wanting to remain in the inner circle despite resenting many of them for the way they treated me. I have always been a bit insecure, but in H.S it was amplified, so I looked at this group of guys as a way of insulating myself from ridicule. How dumb is that? It was High School that would change the way I would choose my friends. I would stop hiding in large numbers and start developing honest connections with a few high quality people.

In my life I have been lucky enough to have 2 real friends. Yep, that's it, just two! The first is one of my friends from High School who I don't talk to very often anymore, but was a good quality person.

Gerry is the only other true friend I have ever had and outside of my marriage, is by far the closest I have even been to another person. He's one of those guys that most people just like to be around and I consider myself lucky to know him. We are so close that I consider him more family then friend and I know that I can always count on matter what.

As much as it has been fun to find out about people I knew from High School, I don't really care to reconnect with them...I have all I need in my Wife, Kids and sole friend.


gewilli said...

Gerry is definitely one of the few good guys out there!

Suds said...

Hey Jim, is that the collage from your bedroom wall you posted up there with "the original MJ" as you like to call him? You've often said that you've never been able to adjust to his new nose and that "Thriller" will always hold a special place in your heart.

Hey, thanks for the votes of confidence guys... I'm honoured to call you my friends.

Jim said...

I take it all back...he's a real ass!

Vesper Peeps said...

I don't agree here with your statements about Gerry, infact I am quite surprised by how he treats his friends - disengaging from contact, returning and pretending like nothing happenened in the first place. I not only find his behaviour dishonourable, but cowardly and utterly disrespectful.

but I suppose ignorance is bliss, I certainly won't and wouldn't put up with a "friend" like that. I have never in my lifetime treated a person the way he has treated me in the last 3 months - starting from when he pre-judged my disposition before our first long-lost meeting. I knew then that I shouldn't have even bothered with him, but I'm always one for second chances. Unfortunatly (for Gerry) he has proved to be unworthy of a dynamic friendhip like mine. He doesn't seem to give a hoot about anyone but himself. It's truly a shame that I've wasted 3 months of my time being open and honest and getting ZIP in return. I have to disagree - I don't find Gerry to be a good friend at all. And I know I am not the only one who has experienced this from him, I felt it time the shroud be lifted instead of crowning the fraud.

But that's just my 2 cents.

Jim said...


Am I saying Gerry or ANY of us are without fault...well of course not, but I don't think it's time to grab the torches and pitch forks just yet either.

Like any relationship, my friendship with Gerry will always have various ups and downs, but regardless of how much or little we see each other I still consider him a member of my family and would never expect him to put me before his other responsibilities.

In my opinion, this give and take, is what friendship is all about VP.